Microsoft Xbox sells poorly in Japan

April 7, 2002

This an old, sarcastic news post from when I was in college. I apologise.

TOKYO, JAPAN - Recently released figures say Microsoft’s debut into the game system world isn’t very successful in Japan. About 1/7 of as many systems have been sold in Japan as America, although Japan has always been a great market for video game consoles. “I wish I lived in Japan,” commented one software developer.

Microsoft has noted it could blame many factors, such as economic conditions, language bias, or email spammers. Japanese Nintendo and Sony fans are mostly afraid of getting the famed Blue Screen Of Death while playing their favourite game. While Altering Time’s own research with developers has found that all three video game systems are almost equally easy to develop for, some developers don’t feel morally right helping out a company who reportedly owns 75% shares in Evil. “There’s a big market in Evil these days,” a Microsoft spokeswoman was quick to defend. “I think we’ve proven that time and again.”

Another reason for this is a lack of established characters. While Nintendo has powerhouses like Mario and the Pok�mon gang, and Sony has the Final Fantasy series among others, Microsoft has rights to Billy G, The Digital Monopolist. While Microsoft is confident in it’s new game, SimAntiTrust, some gamers are sceptical.”I think Princess Peach is hotter than Bill Gates,” commented one gamer.

The writer of this article also finds Princess Peach to be hotter than Bill Gates.

© Allen Pike. See also Twitter and Steamclock.